Sunday, June 15, 2014

EPIPHANIES IN TRIFLES


I was doing my annual closet clean-up & it was like I had opened my own Pandora’s Box. So many things, that, I did not even know I had, came out of their hide. And a typical “girl-y” girl that I was, I had plethora of knick-knacks from my toddler years till date; hair-clips, brooches, hearts, butterflies… you name it & I had it. But with each pretty trinket, I had an equally pretty memory attached & I don’t even think that I need to mention what kind of memories I'm talking about.
For example, my first pink flowery wrist-watch, my first bottle of perfume, which by the way, was also pink with a Barbie tag on its neck, my first vanity box, my first clutch… the list is endless. {P.s – I'm sure all the ladies will be able to relate, sorry boys!}




Looking at my cherished collection of childhood made me nostalgic & transported me to my former years. For a moment, I just sat there, surrounded by my “girl-y stuff”, lost in the memory lane of innocence… and then, when I snapped out of my haze of memories, I started pondering whether to keep all those remnants of a young naïve Pratibha or to simply throw them away. I was in a dilemma & couldn't decide. On one hand, they were only lifeless, useless things occupying space & catching dust in my closet, while, on the other hand, they were the most precious jewels, the collection of my lifetime & I didn't want to part with them as I felt that they were a part of me, what I've become today. All in all, they were priceless in both ways.

But then, I had an epiphany. In that very trivial experience, I learnt one of the most fundamental lessons of life: Happiness in life can be achieved only if we maintain a balance on the fine line of “letting go” & “holding on”. But then again, it’s easier said than done. & I’ll be completely honest with you guys, I still didn't part with all of them, though, I did muster up some courage to set aside many of them but I still kept some of them with me.
So even in life, we should remember to hold onto the good things. But then, it is also necessary to let go because sometimes, the destiny might have better plans in store for you. Be optimistic. Believe in your fate. Maybe the destiny has planned better trinkets for you, maybe it has planned better memories for you to make & maybe the destiny has planned a better future for you. Who knows?

So, before you make your final decision, ask yourself, “Is it worth your time? Worth your energy? Worth holding on to?” & if still you can’t make up your mind, then, simply toss a coin; it works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment, when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for & you shall have your answer.
So, be it a person or a memory or anything else that is significant, we SHOULD maintain a balance between everything in our life. And this perhaps, is the most significant stepping stone to a happy & peaceful life.
& as Henry Ellis said –
   “ALL THE ART OF LIVING LIES IN A FINE MINGLING OF LETTING GO & HOLDING ON.”


Wednesday, June 04, 2014

                         AN EXCERPT


" For it was not into my ear you whispered,
but into my heart...
It was not my lips you kissed,
but my soul..."



He surveyed her, touched her pulse & felt the pull of her presence weakening. Her thread, as she called it. She was leaving soon, he could feel it.
The air swirled around them, and as a doctor, he wanted to close the window but as a husband, he wanted to be that breeze, to be in those last precious lungfuls. She didn't feel overly cold as he touched her cheek, but regardless, he bowed over her, sheltering her from the chill.

He picked up her hand & held the ring he had slid onto her finger so many years ago. He softly twisted the ring, an old habit & felt her tremor under her skin. Feeling suddenly like his helpless, young naive self, terror gripped him. The life alone, before her, had prepared him for her. But nothing had prepared him for the life after her.

She had systematically stripped him off of his cardboard cut-out beliefs & had replaced them with something stronger, something bigger. He had learned more in those walks than he had in his entire education, his long career. She was his life's education.

He couldn't look at her now, this fading woman & think of her only as tissue & blood layered upon bones. 
She had taught him that nothing could alter the path of a soul & he could imagine the trail on which she would soon walk, away from him, away from the home that she loved so much. He imagined her, a little balloon, tied to him by a spider's silken thread, reaching towards the breeze, eager to float.

"My body lives without you," he whispered, "But the heart of me, all that I am, will go with you."

In that instant, he hated his mortal body, hated being chained to the ground, trapped & tied in that room. It seemed so unnatural that she should depart on her journey alone. As he rested his head over their joined hands, HE FELT THE LIGHT FADING, HE PRAYED, AT FIRST SILENTLY, BUT SOON THE WORDS FELL FROM HIS LIPS & WERE CAPTURED IN HIS TEARS.

He hadn't been in any temple, but his prayers were his own version of worship, her name, his love.... He prayed to find her again but it was her words, he consciously echoed as he braced himself, as he watched the spark fade, as he felt his own flame flicker,
"Walk back to me, someday."

He stood frozen in the most ancient & primal grief. The soft wind ruffled the curtains.
Gently, softly, the threads had been unravelled & she was spirited away from him, to float to the land where pain could not find her, where time could not limit her.
Back to the world with no walls...

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal."