Sunday, July 26, 2015

( This article was written on 26th June, 2015 )

Ladies and gentleman, today on the occasion of Gay marriage being legalized, I, too, would like to put my two cents in. Speaking of Gay marriage and LGBT community rights, another issue comes to my mind which, by the way, is equally popular and is many a times blown out of proportions  – Gender Equality.

“You don’t have to be anti-men to be pro-women.” – Jane Galvin Lewis

Ah yes, this is something we know of, right? It’s seen and heard everywhere these days after all. The way this issue has gained popularity among all walks of life still continues to astound me. We even have a few clichéd lines saved up to speak out when we see the females being discriminated. I mean, I’m also an ex-feminist and I know how much fickle our Indian society can be. We see something on T.V or Youtube, then we share a few posts on social media and that’s that. We have done our job of being a responsible and conscious citizen.

The point I want to raise here is – what about male equality? Sure, India is a male dominated country with a patriarchal set-up but times are changing and metropolitans are a witness to that. But keeping that fact apart as well, shouldn’t we be unbiased and support a cause which is ethically and morally correct or should we just support an idea without thinking it through logically.

Why do we expect men to stand up and leave their seats in the buses? Why should men always pay for you? For your date, drinks, shopping spree, etc..? Why is it that we apply the rule of “beauty comes in all shapes and sizes” for females solely? Why are men considered to be the provider of the family?

And if by any chance a man fails to do any of that, the entire society questions his masculinity.
If a guy hits on you? He’s a jerk
If a guy rejects you? He’s an arrogant ass-hole
If a guy agrees to all your whims? He’s not man enough.
If he doesn't? He’s an egoistic chauvinist.

And if this is not judgemental enough, then we have our fair share of some pretty colourful tags for females too – dumb blondes, female drivers, slut, whore, gold digger, etc. This list goes on and on.

However, I feel that just like we don’t adore women with plastic surgeries, fake orange tans (or in our case, using fairness creams) fake laughs, bleached blonde hair, nasal voices….. We also expect certain things from men. That’s not to say we can crucify them for not doing that but chivalry and manners are always appreciated. Just like class and elegance is appreciated and sought after in women. Again, that’s not something gender specific. Every human being likes attention and those traits make you sought after. It’s just different things for men and women.

Now, considering the present scenario, I tried to think logically, instead of conventionally and I realised that dumbness or arrogant chauvinism isn’t gender specific. Men and women are stupid. Men and women are smart.

Moving forward, I think it’s high time that those feminists start paying for their damn drinks now, since they so religiously believe that all men are scum. But hey, we don’t mind a scum spending a few bucks on us, do we? That doesn’t go against the norms of feminism at all, right ladies?

While here I sum up one view on gender equality. But on the same hand, I also have another take on the very issue. I think gender equality is a losing cause. How can we claim to be equals when we clearly aren’t? Men and women are not alike in any way. Men from the primitive times are biologically programmed to be the providers and women to be caregivers. So are we strong enough to change the laws of nature?

Yin and Yang can live together in harmony by being what they are. If the water tries to be solid and hard like the rocky mountain or if the rocky mountain tries to be soft and gentle like the flowing water… It kind of goes against the grain or in other words, it seems unnatural and improbable.

Similarly, how can females compete with men in their physical strength ? How can men understand the selfless love of a mother when it’s clearly not in their genetic make-up.

While I certainly don’t advocate any of these to you but I have shared my point of view. If you’re fighting for gender equality, then ladies, woman up and own it. And men, don’t pin those tags or generalize. And if you believe otherwise, then let’s just say, you can be excused for having a dumb moment once in a while and we can also let male ego slide down sometimes.

Personally though, I lean towards my other belief. I have tried and been there and done that. And given up on going against nature. Some things ARE going to remain gender specific. 
So, I think it's time we stop blowing this trumpet of gender equality and simply extend respect to all those who deserve, irrespective of their gender or their gender preference ;-) The only thing we should do is that - we stop being orthodox and judgmental and focus on our individual growth.

That’s it folks!!
Ps. I’m personally very happy for the legalization of Gay marriage. It marks the beginning of that one thing I desperately follow and preach – Live and let others live. It’s like hating a person for not liking the same flavour of ice cream that you do….  Okay okay, I’m rambling!

Adiós mis amigos :) 


  1. Indeed true and an awesome article Pratibha. Couldn't have better than this and I m sure of that. Your words are swords for fighting the so called "Orthodox Thinking" . Keep writing...keep inspiring ...great work ..😍👌👌👌👏👏

  2. Well said, Pratibha, good work, :)

  3. All through life there were distinctions - toilets for men, toilets for women; clothes for men, clothes for women - then, at the end, the graves are identical.

    Very well said PN, Nice job ... unique and required topic .... keep it up

  4. I respect your views pratibha. You have definately spoken for the team. I mean, we all somewhere agree with your ideology, but only certain prejudices In our society never allow the masses to take a stand. Again, Its a complete article containing every aspect of the gender biasness. I m glad to have such an intellectual friend , who does not only think and write very well, but also is an exceptionaly great personality.

  5. hello ma'am
    i am a big fan of yours
    you pen down each and everything with a charm in it.